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76 Funny Quotes About Getting older

Some people fear growing older, however aging is a part of life, and we hope that these 76 funny quotes about getting older will give you permission to laugh along the way. Humor and laughter ought to be an integral part of all of our lives, no matter our age.

Share your favorite funny quotes about aging and growing old amongst your loved ones, young, middle aged and elderly. Laughter is really amazing at bringing us into the moment, so, please share these funny quotes on Pinterest (or other social media) to support us in this work!

1. “You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.” – George Burns

Funny quotes about getting older

2. “Old age is always fifteen years older than I am.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes

Funny quotes about age

3. “Growing old is compulsory – growing up is optional.” – Bob Monkhouse

Funny growing older quotes

4. “Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too.” – Lionel Kauffman

Funny quotes about old age

5. “At my age “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for.” – Unknown

Funny age quotes

6. “Men do not quit playing because they grow old—they grow old because they quit playing.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes

Growing old quotes funny

7. “Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get back up.” – John Wagner

Funny aging quotes

8. “Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.” – George Burns

Funny old age quotes

9. “I want to die young at a ripe old age.” – Ashley Montagu

Old age humour quotes

10. “Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” – Kitty O’Neill Collins

Humourous quotes about aging

11. “You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” – George Burns

Getting old funny quotes

12. “Aging is an inevitable process. I surely wouldn’t want to grow younger. The older you become the more you know. Your bank account of knowledge is much richer.” – William M Holden

Humourous quotes about aging

13. “It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” – Andy Rooney

Funny quotes about gwtting old

14. “I’m growing older and I’m glowing more than and more.” – Unknown

Funny growing older quotes

15. “The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible.” – Judith Regan

Funny quotes about aging

16. “I remember being able to get up without making sound effects…” – Unknown

Funny quotes about being old

17. “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” – Bob Hope

Funny getting older quotes

18. “Where does it say we have to ‘act’ our age? As long as it makes me happy and I’m not hurting anyone, I will act whatever age I want to!” – Unknown

Funny sayings about age

19. “At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don’t care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.” – Ann Landers

Funny quotes on aging

20. “By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” – George Burns

Funny sayings about getting old

21. “I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.” – Bob Hope

Funny quotes about growing old

22. “Old age comes at a bad time.” – San Banducci

Old age humor quotes

23. “Today is the oldest you’ve ever been, and the youngest you’ll ever be again.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Getting older funny quotes

24. “I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you.” – Andy Ronney

Getting old quotes funny

25. “You can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” – Woody Allen

Funny sayings about aging

26. “Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.” – Tom Wilson

Funny growing older quote

27. “Age is something that doesn’t matter unless you are a cheese.” – Billie Burke

Age funny quote

28. “Some guy said to me: ‘Don’t you think you’re too old to sing rock n roll?’ I said: ‘You’d better check with Mick Jagger.’” Cher

Funny age quotation

29. “First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.” – Leo Rosenberg

Funny age quote forgetfulness

30. “Age is just a number that changes depending on who’s asking.” – Unknown

Funny age phrase

31. “Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.” – George Burns

32. “There is still no cure for the common birthday.” – John Glenn

33. “If I’d known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.” – Adolph Zukor

34. “At my age I’ve heard it all; I’ve seen it all; and I’ve done it all. I just can’t remember it all.” – Unknown

35. “Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone.” – Jim Fiebig

36. “You can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” – Woody Allen

37. “The cardiologist’s diet: If it tastes good spit it out.” – Unknown

38. “Middle age is when a guy starts turning off lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.” – Eli Cass

39. “I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.” – George Burns

40. “Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” – Larry Lorenzoni

41. “As I grow older and wiser, I’ve begun to understand how little I understand.” – Unknown

42. “Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.” – Unknown

43. “You don’t stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing.” George Bernard Shaw

44. “Age is not how old you are but how many years of fun you’ve had.” – Matt Maldre

45. “Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” – Larry Lorenzoni

46. “Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.” – Mark Twain

47. “One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it’s such a nice change from being young.” – Dorothy Canfield Fisher

48. “Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young.” – Theodore Roosevelt

49. “Age is something that doesn’t matter unless you are a cheese.” – Luis Buñuel

50. “Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.” – Mark Twain

51. “Few people know how to be old.” – François de la Rochefoucauld

52. “The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you’ll grow out of it.” – Doris Day

53. “No one is so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm.” – Henry David Thoreau

54. “Age puzzles me. I thought it was a quiet time. My seventies were interesting and fairly serene, but my eighties are passionate. I grow more intense as I age.” – Florida Scott-Maxwell

55. “Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.” – Anonymous

56. “Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.” – Tom Stoppard

57. “Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.” -Victor Hugo

58. “You know you’re getting older when your childhood toys are now collectibles and antiques.” – Unknown

59. “I don’t do drink or drugs. At my age, I get the same effect just standing up too fast.” – Unknown

60. “As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” – Sir Norman Wisdom

61. “There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.” – Sophia Loren

62. “Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternative.” – Maurice Chevalier

63. “Where does it say we have to act our age? As long as it makes me happy and I’m not hurting anyone, I will act whatever age I want to.” – Unknown

64. “Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be. The last of life, for which the first was made.” – Robert Browning

65. “You’re only as old as you feel.” – Unknown

66. “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?” – Unknown

67. “I’ve reached the age where my brain went from “You probably shouldn’t say that” to “What the hell, let’s see what happens.” – Unknown

68. “We’ve put more effort into helping folks reach old age than into helping them enjoy it.” – Frank Howard Clark

69. “You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.” – Ogden Nash

70. “Age is a high price to pay for maturity.” – Tom Stoppard

71. “I don’t let my age define me but the side-effects are getting harder to ignore.” – Unknown

72. “People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.” – George Burns

73. “Everything slows down with age, except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips.” – John Wagner

74. “Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you.” – Ogden Nash

75.n “Age to me means nothing. I can’t get old; I’m working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you’re working, you stay young. When I’m in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.” – George Burns

76. “It is better to wear out than to rust out.” – Bishop Richard Cumberland