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30 Funny Birthday Quotes And Wishes For A Card Or Message

If you’re looking for some funny birthday quotes and wishes, you’ve come to the right place! We’ve collected 30 witty birthday quotations and funny happy birthday greetings for you to share with loved ones on their special day.

Read on to find a selection of cheesy, hilarious, and silly messages you can write in a birthday card – or send virtually!

Either way, enjoy the humor, and we hope your loved one enjoys celebrating turning another year older!

Funny Birthday Quotes

If you’re looking for witty birthday quotations to make sending a bday message to a loved one, here we have collected 15 of the best and funniest! Nothing like a bit of humor on special occasions!

1. “Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you.” – Ogden Nash

Funny birthday quotes

2. “As you get older, three things happen: The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” – Norman Wisdom

Birthday quotes funny

3. “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” – Lucille Ball

Funny birthday sayings

4. You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” – Bob Hope

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5. “Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it.” – Golda Meir

Hilarious birthday quotes

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6. “It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle.” – Unknown

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7. “Pamper yourself on your birthday, as in a few years someone will put a damper on your birthday reminding you of your age.” – Byron Pulsifer

Witty birthday quotations

8. “After 30, a body has a mind of its own.” – Bette Midler

Happy birthday humor quotes

9. “Eventually you reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” – Will Rogers

Funny quotes for birthdays

10. “The good thing about getting older is if you don’t want to do something you can say, I’m too old to do that!” – Kate Summers

Funny birthday status

11. “It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen.” – Brigitte Bardot

Birthday funny quotations

12. “The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you’ll grow out of it.” – Doris Day

Humorous birthday quotes

13. “You’re not as young as you used to be. But you’re not as old as you’re going to be.” – Irish Saying

Funny bday sayings

14. “Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” – C.E.M. Joad

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15. “Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you’re alive, it isn’t.” – Richard Bach

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Funny Happy Birthday Wishes

Read on for the perfect humorous birthday wishes and greetings to either write yourself in a card or save to your phone and message via text or Whatsapp on your loved one’s special day!

1. Happy birthday! Another year older, another year wondering what year you’ll be wiser!

Happy birthday funny wishes

2. Today you’re officially as old as you look, happy birthday!

Funny birthday wishes

3. Here’s to another year of being immature and offending people!

Funny happy birthday wishes

4. Many birthday wishes your way, and may they all come true (apart from the ones that are against the law!)

Funny birthday messages

5. You’re still older than me, oh well, have a lovely birthday!

Happy birthday funny messages

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6. Aren’t you lucky to receive a birthday wish from your favorite person… you’re welcome!

Funny happy birthday greetings

7. Make your birthday the one day this last year where you don’t do anything stupid!

Funny happy birthday text message

8. I forgot to bring you a gift, so I brought something better… meeeee!

Happy birthday wishes fun

9. I’m not a fan of cheese birthday wishes so, have a good one.

Funny birthday card messages

10. You’re not bad are you. Happy birthday!

Happy birthday wishes fun humor

11. It’s your birthday and a miracle has happened, I remembered!

Funny bday wishes

12. When I reach your age I do hope I don’t show it as much as you do! Happy birthday!

Funny birthday message for friends

13. Happy day of birth! Another year older, another year to wait until you’re hopefully wiser!

Funny happy birthday greeting

14. I’ve heard a rumor that the more birthdays you have, the longer you live!

Hilarious birthday wishes

15. We couldn’t afford the number of candles that we need for your cake, so I hope you’re ok with just this message!

Humorous birthday wishes